Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Months

Puppette, the most wonderful dog I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, had a very bad day yesterday.  She vomited and then did not want to eat her breakfast.  This is so unusual for her, I took her to the vet.  The initial work up and x-rays indicated she might have pleural effusion and kidney involvement.  These two things in combination are very bad.  after a rush trip to another vet clinic, and several hours of tests, it was determined it was not so bad, or was it?

Puppette has left lobe consolidated pneumonia, pancreatitis, and a growth in her bladder.  Well shit!
Today, my long conversation with Dr Perente clarified the situation.  Puppette has a transitional cell carcinoma in her bladder.  If treated aggressively, we could have many more months together.  If treated conservatively, she has a few months left.
Months.
I now have to define my relationship with my best girl in months.
This is a place I have dreaded and looked at side ways for thirteen years.  But now that it has shown up at my door, I really want to kick it in the nuts!
I have to decide so many things, now.  I am Puppette's guardian.  I have to make decisions she can't make.  I have to pay attention to her and read her more closely than ever before to make sure I do not miss some little sign or signal that the time is here.
Months.  Collections of 28, 29, 30 or 31 days.  I have had years.  But am I so greedy to want more?
I will write my thoughts here, for a time.  Maybe I will write this up until and just past saying good bye.
Months.
WTF?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm crying for you as I write this
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go on this final journey......
Angela

Anonymous said...

Tears roll down my cheeks as well... Damn it! Losing your sweet blond girl is going to be devastating. She has been your best girl for a very very long time. Giving joy and comfort to whomever she greets. Pamper her, love her, enjoy your months knowing you have had an amazing 13+ years with an awesome soul! I love you both my heart and prayers are with you. I am sending you the biggest hug I can manage!
Carol