It is all how you look at it

The other day I heard my least favorite comment from a patient.
"This wasn't a good session."
How the hell do you arrive at that?
You expected to live forever, or at least without major disruption, but if you are seeing me, you had a major disruption.
You think that it should be healed in a day or two, especially if it is something you can not see such as a stroke, a surgery to a part of your body you can't see, out of sight out of mind kind of injuries.
You forget that a simple kitchen cut (usually from a knife that is way too dull) and does not need stitches takes about 14 days to heal.
But when an educated mad man (a surgeon, we lock up people who cut people but you PAY this person to incise you and stitch you, they gotta be mad as a hatter!) cuts you open, cuts apart bones and either removes them or replaces them, and them staples you or sutures you closed, it is VERY different from the knife cut while preparing your mirepoix for chicken soup!
So then you look at me, after walking farther than you have since your surgery, without any (or minimal) assistance from me, you did not fall, lose your balance, have your knees buckle from a neurological problem or a strength/endurance issue, did not pass out from orthostatic hypotension from your bodies inability to regulate its own blood pressure, you did not have a cardiac arrest or pass out.
WHAT THE HELL IS A GOOD SESSION TO YOU?!?!?
I frequently lecture my patients with the above litany and then ask them, again, if it was a good session.
They expect to be healed from a major surgery, stroke, long term illness creating debility, in a matter of days, not the weeks to months that it will really take.
But I prevail.
They admit that it was a good session.
No one is willing to take the time needed to heal correctly.
Healing is a full time job to do it right.
Listen to your Physical Therapist, your Occupational Therapist, your Speech and Language Pathologist, your Doctor and the nurses and you will get through it well.
And I will keep lecturing my people on patience and needing to accept small victories and advances in the healing process.
Heal thyself.
No, seriously, do that and let the rest take care of its self for a while.
Go ahead, I'll wait.

C

Fire House

Driving home today, after a wonderful day at work where everything went well, the patients weren't too demanding and I was in a good space all day, I arrived at the intersection near the local fire house.
It sits at the top of the hill, a four way stop where you should not turn on red and visibility can be an issue.
I was first in my lane, headed east, but signaling to turn left, when a car on my left hand side started to run the red light they had. They shot across the intersection, I saw the passenger gesture violently to the driver not to turn right but to drive straight ahead.
That was weird enough. But...
The car screamed across the intersection and stopped in the parking lot of the fire house. the woman got out and hurried, not ran, over to the open fire truck bay door where someone met her. She gestured violently to the car she had just gotten out of.
My light had turned green and I was wanting to see the next part of this drama unfold, but the person behind me was riding my bumper.
I made my head check to the left and then right and then left again, no last minute red light runners to be seen. (believe me they run red lights around here like red is a suggestion, not a law)
I saw the driver of the car opening the rear passenger door and two very limp legs fell out, he grabbed the form of a body. I had turned the corner downhill so my rear view mirror had just a fleeting glimpse of wildly swinging legs as the limp body was carried to the fire house.
I felt my chest tighten and I felt a great wave of concern. I have been around enough to know unconscious body movement.
I hope all is well.
I am glad there were people at the fire house to take care of this emergency.
Thank god for volunteer fire fighters!

C

Shaking My Head

I find myself shaking my head a great deal.
Why does one shake their head in a motion that connotates disapproval or negation?
For me, it is when someone has perpetrated an act that I consider stupid or blatantly in the face of common sense.
We could easily devolve into an argument of what common sense is, but we shant.
Today, I was driving home from work, in a good mood from a full and successful day, when a large truck, 4 door and bigger than necessary, turned out of a strip mall and landed in the two way turn lane. He accelerated but not up to speed to pass me or merge safely, but he started to enter my lane with the bumper of his truck even with my front tire. I took my foot off the gas and decelerated a bit so he could safely take over my lane of travel.
I shook my head and restrained myself from making a rude gesture or honking my horn, I just waved at the driver of the too big truck as if to say "Hey, I am here".
Maybe he did not see my red truck. Maybe he was thinking too far ahead of himself and was not aware of his now, his present.
I shake my head so often when I drive that I have relieved much of my whiplash injuries. I actually have a stronger neck because of it.
I look at these people so distracted, so not in the moment and focused here that it is truly a wonder more people are not injured or killed in automobile accidents.

Just do me a favor.
Stop!
Pay attention.
Breathe.
Focus on the moment you are in right now, so I do not have to shake my head at you.

C

New York City in December

Long time no post.

K and I finally made it into The City.
New York City for a small town person is a bit overwhelming.
To pass buildings so high they blot out the sky:


And the Lights:


Art in a tunnel in Central Park:

K and C in Central Park near the Boat Pond:

Things have been well.
K and C are still so busy at work and up to our waists in boxes.
We are healthy and well. Not much more need be said.

We hope you all are well, as well.

Maybe more soon, maybe not.
Tune in again.
Thanks for reading.
C

Lumps and bumps and Vets, oh my...

Well, as we grow older, we get lumps and bumps. So do our furkin.
I have found several lumps on Puppette in the past 6 months and have felt them almost daily to monitor growth.
She developed an ugly red thing on her tummy and it got opened on Sunday. I took miss thing to the Vet yesterday.
I had a lump chart our last vet had started so I whipped that out and then proceeded to freak out the vet as I pointed out5 more lumps that were not on the lump chart that was last updated 2 years ago.
She felt them all and agreed that most of them are fatty and really need no investigation, just observation.
But the three lobed red thing on her tummy that opened up and BLED on Sunday, that had her attention.
The Vet finished looking Puppette over and left the room. She came back and asked if Puppette had recent blood work. I handed over the small book that is Puppette's medical record and let them look. The Tech came back in and I said:
"Let me guess, you need a new blood sample because her last blood panel is over a year old."
Yup.
She then made as if to take Pup out to the back and I stopped her and told her I hold Puppette for all minor procedures. So I held her while the Vet herself drew the blood. I told the vet, "I suppose you might as well clean her teeth while she is out"
She nodded and looked at me kinda weird.
I am guessing that she does not work with many "in the know" pet guardians.
She wanted to do Puppette today but I can't free the schedule until next Tuesday.
So my princess needs a biopsy and a teeth cleaning and I will be just as freaked out as I was three years ago at her last tooth cleaning.
I will keep you all posted.
She is 100% otherwise, good appetite, not angry poo, no weight loss, although she needs to lose a pound or two. But then again, so do I. Hmm, do I see more walkies in the near future?
Ahhh feel those grey hairs growing.

Peace
C

One Year Later

Just over 365 days ago, we loaded our lives and loves into a mini van and left our long time home.
In that year, we learned some important things:
Jack Links beef jerky is manna
DO NOT EVER eat "moisturized" chicken
Nut rolls are great protein on the road.
Waffle House ROCKS!
Cherry lime aid and tots from Sonic ease the pain of travel
Kansas is flat
Never move 4800 miles unless it is a very good reason (Like your nephew calling you up to ask if you can swim underwater)
WiFi is your friend
Mini vans can be good
Parrots do not drink or eat in bouncy cars
Texas feels weird
Alabama has a lot of Helicopters
New York is expensive
Read the fine print
Communicate very well to keep your clients
You will always be right where you are supposed to be ( you probably will not always know it though)
A good companion is priceless


There is no place like home

I will keep writing when I can.
I have no idea if anyone still reads this, but I will keep it out there.

A new year begins.

C

Do you smell that?

The sense of smell is an incredible memory trigger.
Today, driving to work, I was three cars behind a school bus. The car ahead of me, the person was smoking a cigarette.
The smell of burned off diesel and smoke took me back to any given Christmas morning in my child hood.
Early Christmas morning, Mom would bundle us up into warm clothes and we would take the bags we had packed the night before.
We would go down to the Greyhound Bus station and board the big grey behemoth that would take four kids to Seattle for our Christmas break in Seattle with our Father.
The cold morning air, dawn still hiding over a distant horizon, held the warm exhaust and cigarette smoke close to the ground. High rafters with cold sleepy pigeons did not allow the heat to rise so it could get cloying after too long.
We were never allowed to go into the bathrooms alone. No one ever said why, just that we could not go. The cold would make me have to pee and I could not go until I was on a moving bus across the snowy state.
We would arrive in Seattle 5 to 9 hours later and encounter the same cold darkness with smoke and fumes. Punctuation of transit with a week in Dad's house and then the same sentence in west to east instead of east to west. Same closing paragraph of cold dark evening with a long pause until next time next year.
I saw the yellow behemoth turn off into a school and the air cleared of uphill poorly incompletely combusted diesel fumes and the fool in the car ahead threw a still smoldering butt out their window and sped off to the left where I turned right.
Over thirty years later and I am transported back to a place and time because two unique smells went up my nose and tickled my olfactory bulbs. Synapses connected and I remembered the good and bad and agonizing times of my child hood.
It all comes together in the present as I drive to work, a grown man looking back at a scared confused small human bundled up against the bite of more than winter.
It helped shape who I am.

C